Part of me feels like a huge baby; I’ve never broken anything before and there is an intense amount of constant pain coming from my little toe – I can’t believe such pain comes from something SO TINY. Part of me feels kind of butch, because I didn’t bother going to a doctor for it. I mean, I grew up on post-apocalypse fiction! I know what survivalists should do in case of broken bones! Also I am (a) cheap and (b) impatient and didn’t want to go spend six hours in an ER just to pay someone $2000 to say “yeah, that’s broken; we can’t really do anything for that. Tape it up and have some ibuprofen.” Fuck that. Gimmie a shot of whiskey and I’ll reset that bitch myself (actually it wasn’t that hard, I just pulled it back into place, which didn’t hurt any more than breaking it did, and then I taped it up. While I untape it to get in the shower, it has steadily remained taped (and I have remained stuffed full of ibuprofen) for about ten days now.
And the part of me that’s not screaming OW!OW!OW! says that it’s really not all that bad, especially when I look on the Interwebs for other pictures of broken toes. I mean, check it – I hardly even got a bruise. I feel like a baby for even complaining about it. And yet, after I broke it and had to put on shoes to go to the store to get tape, I thought I was going to fall over dead from pain. Sliding on those Birks hurt like a motherfucking hurty thing that motherfucking hurt a lot. I have a really high pain tolerance – frequently working through migraines because shit needs to get done and I need to do it – but sliding on that shoe brought me to tears. I don’t think I’ve ever, ever been in such pain. Maybe when stepping on that piece of driftwood on the beach that went so far into my foot… but I was 11 then and have mercifully blocked that out.
Speaking of migraines, I woke up with one this morning. I went to sleep hella early last night, like 10 PM; but woke up about 4:30 AM because my toe hurt, my neck hurt, and I was 100% conjested and couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to take – ibuprofen for my foot? Excedrin migraine for my neck? Benadryl for my nose? Surely I shouldn’t take all three, my liver might crawl out of my body. So I got up and was grouchy for a while, and decided on Benadryl and falling back asleep on the couch with my heating pad under my neck. Win! And then after Tim got up, around 8, I decided to go crawl back into bed because the throbbing had somewhat receded in my neck. And I slept until 11. I haven’t slept that long in AGES.
Also, it is like a sauna in here, and oy! My sciatica!
Oh, how did I break my toe? Remember how I was taking box after box of crap to Hospice Attic? Like, four car-loads of boxes of crap? I guess one box was all “you’re not gonna get me, Copper!” because it attacked me when I got up from my desk to let the dogs in the back yard. Fucker. Also, ow.
I have never broken a bone before! Please tell me your horrible broken bone stories so that I can feel better about my painful tiny piggy.