My knitting angst: LET ME SHOW YOU IT

OK, so back around Thanksgiving or so, I thought “wouldn’t it be great if I knitted special unique snowflakes Christmas stockings for everybody in my family for Christmas?” If I stuck to the people who come to Christmas morning that would mean I’d need… like… nine. Tops. And then I showed *remarkable* restraint by not trying to do that in December, which was already a little top-heavy HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHsob.

But I decided to start in January, and knit one per month, giving myself a good three months of leeway should (drumroll, please) anything go wrong. OH THE FORESHADOWING.

So in January I knitted Rusty’s stocking, and felted it. It didn’t felt quite as much as I wanted it to, but was starting to bell out at the top and I didn’t want that, so I stopped felting. It was … usable. Not great… a little too big… but I figured maybe I could knit him a second one if time allowed.

In February I knitted Aunt Gay’s stocking, and I brought the cast-on down to 80 from 100, thinking maybe that might work a little better.

I don't want to talk about this.

So clearly that worked out.


So I’ve started and ripped out the third one about six times now, and I have to tell you… this idea is seriously losing its appeal. Here’s my drama: 100 stitches didn’t really felt enough. 80 stitches felted far too much. I wanted to go with felted stockings because I doubted my ability to sew a lining to the inside of 9 stockings, and unfelted (or unlined) stockings are going to be mighty, mighty loose. I’m not following a pattern, because I didn’t like 100% of any of the stocking patterns I found; just bits of this one and parts of that one — so I’m basically making a huge sock and felting it. Note: The majority of the felted stocking patterns I find on Ravelry call for a cast-on of 64 stitches (granted, on much larger needles than what I’m using).

I figure I can do one of the following things:

  • Say “fuck it” and blind my disappointed family with extra Chex Mix, hoping they’ll not notice.
  • Suck it up and brush of my horrible sewing skills enough to line the inside.
  • Go back to the 100 stitches, and felt the fuck out of it.
  • Hold two strands together, and use one of the patterns I’ve found on Ravelry that calls for a 64-stitch cast-on.
  • Forget full-sized stockings, and make mini-stockings out of sock yarn and stick chocolate in them; putting them inside the commercial red-and-white stockings we have now (bonus: I could probably also then make a bunch for other friends, if they were only the size of chocolate bars).
  • Cry.

Anybody got anything else to add? Any advice? Throw me a bone, people! I’m torn, seriously; on one hand, this project has reached the critical, yarn-time-out level of ‘really no longer enjoyable’ (remember my Simply Knitted Bodice from 2005? That piece of shit is STILL in time out!)… but I really love the Rockwellian vision of beautifully hand-knitted stockings above Aunt Gay and Uncle Joe’s fireplace. Help a knitta out? I only have until December, you know!

9 thoughts on “0

    1. I wanted each one to look a little different and unique; but also functional. I can barely get my hand into Aunt Gay’s stocking — there’s no way that’ll be usable on Christmas morning!

  1. Small but lovely things can be put into Gay’s stocking. She’ll just have to shake them out instead of reaching in to it. Jewelry, candy kisses, rare coins, kumquats. Then Rusty gets the big stuff – oranges, chocolate bars, books…

  2. Hell I like this project so much despite the crazy story, I volunteer to sew linings for all nine stockings should you choose to reknit and not felt . . . here’s the kicker though . . . my price is extra chex mix and maybe aunt gay’s first stocking to give to my brother or marco. my brother’s not gay but I think he’s hipster enough to love it anyway.

      1. You better be careful, Erin, because I’ll totally take you up on that! And not only will I offer Aunt Gay’s first stocking, and extra Chex Mix, but I’ll throw in a pair of hand-knit socks to sweeten the deal! šŸ˜‰

          1. It’s a DEAL, baby! Do you want to have input on the yarn and pattern, or do you want to be surprised? Is there a pair of socks you’ve been wanting, but haven’t had time to make? How do you feel about Cookie A?

  3. That’s a very tricky one. I vote for either trying a 64-stitch one with two strands or make mini-stockings. Mini-stockings could still be very cute and Rockwellian.

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