My knitting angst: LET ME SHOW YOU IT

OK, so back around Thanksgiving or so, I thought “wouldn’t it be great if I knitted special unique snowflakes Christmas stockings for everybody in my family for Christmas?” If I stuck to the people who come to Christmas morning that would mean I’d need… like… nine. Tops. And then I showed *remarkable* restraint by not trying to do that in December, which was already a little top-heavy HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHsob.

But I decided to start in January, and knit one per month, giving myself a good three months of leeway should (drumroll, please) anything go wrong. OH THE FORESHADOWING.

So in January I knitted Rusty’s stocking, and felted it. It didn’t felt quite as much as I wanted it to, but was starting to bell out at the top and I didn’t want that, so I stopped felting. It was … usable. Not great… a little too big… but I figured maybe I could knit him a second one if time allowed.

In February I knitted Aunt Gay’s stocking, and I brought the cast-on down to 80 from 100, thinking maybe that might work a little better.

So clearly that worked out.

Not.

So I’ve started and ripped out the third one about six times now, and I have to tell you… this idea is seriously losing its appeal. Here’s my drama: 100 stitches didn’t really felt enough. 80 stitches felted far too much. I wanted to go with felted stockings because I doubted my ability to sew a lining to the inside of 9 stockings, and unfelted (or unlined) stockings are going to be mighty, mighty loose. I’m not following a pattern, because I didn’t like 100% of any of the stocking patterns I found; just bits of this one and parts of that one — so I’m basically making a huge sock and felting it. Note: The majority of the felted stocking patterns I find on Ravelry call for a cast-on of 64 stitches (granted, on much larger needles than what I’m using).

I figure I can do one of the following things:

• Say “fuck it” and blind my disappointed family with extra Chex Mix, hoping they’ll not notice.
• Suck it up and brush of my horrible sewing skills enough to line the inside.
• Go back to the 100 stitches, and felt the fuck out of it.
• Hold two strands together, and use one of the patterns I’ve found on Ravelry that calls for a 64-stitch cast-on.
• Forget full-sized stockings, and make mini-stockings out of sock yarn and stick chocolate in them; putting them inside the commercial red-and-white stockings we have now (bonus: I could probably also then make a bunch for other friends, if they were only the size of chocolate bars).
• Cry.

Anybody got anything else to add? Any advice? Throw me a bone, people! I’m torn, seriously; on one hand, this project has reached the critical, yarn-time-out level of ‘really no longer enjoyable’ (remember my Simply Knitted Bodice from 2005? That piece of shit is STILL in time out!)… but I really love the Rockwellian vision of beautifully hand-knitted stockings above Aunt Gay and Uncle Joe’s fireplace. Help a knitta out? I only have until December, you know!