I’m the Queen of the Beaver Mags!

(Originally posted on April 20, 2008)

My daddy tells me I’m Queen of the Beaver Mags!

Now that I finally have time to sit down and right this up, it’s probably not as funny as it is in my head.

Sorry to Matt who’s been waiting for this story for like… two years?

This is one of those family legends…

In June of 1975 my dad had a story published in Gallery Magazine.

June 1975

So we’re at a 7-11 type thing, and I see the magazine behind the counter. Keep in mind that I was young and probably was only as tall as the counter…! I walked up, pointed to the magazine, and said, “I’m in that.”

Blink. Blink.

I’m sure the clerk very indulgently said something along the lines of “…. Right.”

“No, really! I’m in that!”

“I’m sure you are.” (What could he possibly have been thinking? What kind of father did he think I had? It’s really a wonder my dad never served any jail time.)

“No, really! My picture is in there!” I said, and I proudly proclaimed (being five, and totally obsessed with myths and fairy tales that were filled with stories of Royalty). “My daddy tells me I’m Queen of the Beaver Mags!”

HAHAH! I SLAY ME! I’m sure I probably slayed my father too; that sentence alone must have taken a good five years off his life (sorry, dad).

Oh, you probably want to see the picture? Here ya go; one author photo, complete with daughter.

Smile for the camera

My Poor Dad.


(original comments after the cut)


ROFL!!!!!!!!! You made my morning Lorena.

Posted by TW on April 20, 2008 at 07:46 AM | #

Hysterical. I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything, ’cause it would have been all over the monitor!

Posted by arne on April 20, 2008 at 09:37 AM | #

Dad was just trying to promote his “10,000th Orgasm” I see proudly proclaimed on the cover.

Posted by damejain on April 20, 2008 at 10:17 AM | #

Wow… Words fail me. You make me laugh!

Posted by Quinn on April 20, 2008 at 11:59 AM | #

That is so very funny…

So…when do we get to read the article? wink

Posted by Betharoopie on April 20, 2008 at 12:30 PM | #

One of the funniest parts of the story was the ‘triple drain room’, a play on words from another family legend known only to a few at that time, the story of the pickled brain room, found elsewhere in Lorena’s ramblings.

Posted by alicesenior on April 20, 2008 at 01:16 PM | #

very funny, i love it. when i was a baby our family raised Boxer dogs. my dear sweet angel of a Mom loved to tell the story of finding nursling me in the nest with other boxer pups nursing off the mom dog . nom nom nom….good dog, she must have loved me very much.

Posted by marie in florida on April 20, 2008 at 04:37 PM | #

Hee! I bow before the Queen!

Posted by Lara on April 21, 2008 at 02:19 PM | #

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