February 13, 2022

There wasn’t much to say about Tim on this day. I thought maybe it was one of those days where I had a different message entirely that I shared with family, but… I can’t find anything. I guess it was just kind of a “nothing” day. Holding pattern.

There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain

There is quite the storm rolling in towards the hospital — if I were out at home, I’d worry about being able to hit “post” on this before we lost internet!

Tim was wide awake and watching a movie when I came in – Nurse Taylor said she sat him up about 8:30, and asked if he wanted to watch a movie, so they found one (Space Jam? Really?). He had a good night but didn’t sleep a lot, most likely because he slept most of the day yesterday. His heart rhythms are back to normal, not wildly fluctuating, so they’re going to keep giving him fluids that’s just a tiniest bit larger than his output, to try to rehydrate him without making him swell up from too much fluid. He was getting an albuterol breathing treatment when I came in, has another one scheduled for later today, but I think everything else is just maintenance planned today.

All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all

Since I wrote that above paragraph, I’ve spent an hour on the phone with Sharon (I KNOW! TALKING! TO EACH OTHER! LIKE HOOMANS!), Nurse Taylor came in and lowered Tim’s bed a bit (he had been sitting up in it like a chair, and she moved it back into more of a reclined bed position). Now he’s napping through “How to Train your Dragon.”

Let’s see… In other news? Tulip continues to enjoy coming in if I sit on Tim’s green recliner with the new quilt Jenny made for him; her favorite thing after “being alone” is to “be snuggling mom.” She really does love me, and really does love to snuggle… she’s just not that into being good friends with other cats.

I got a little more time in the studio. I have some things that I did back in November and early December for HaldeCraft that I’d planned on talking about in late December and January, and obviously that never happened… but hopefully, soon, I will start feeling that things are going well enough with Tim that I can guarantee myself some daily studio time instead of just random “if I get there, I get there” time. When I feel comfortable, I’ll start posting on HaldeCraft social media about some new work being made. I’m firing the kiln today, the second firing this year…. and I did dye some yarn last week and have got it wound, ready to mail out… I’m just not ready to commit to starting back up with regular HaldeCraft work updates, even though I’m sold out on so much. Not yet. Probably because I know I’m sold out on so much, and I can’t commit to the time it’s going to take to fill in those holes — if I can work on that behind the scenes, an hour or two a day for another two or three weeks, isn’t that better than saying “OK! I’m back! Let’s do this!” and then something happens and I have to come back in two days and say “I lied, I can’t get into the studio for a reliable amount of time this week, sorry…”??? I love my work and I love that people love my work, but I’d rather not commit to working until I feel safer about where/how Tim is. Until I feel more trusting that we’ve had reliable steps forward, when the small steps backwards stop sending me into a spiral of “what if.” Which is my long-winded way of saying that if I post a photo of something I’m working on right now, chances are really, really good I’m not going to post about it on HaldeCraft social media until, like, March, so thank you for your patience (and continuing to buy what I do still have in stock) and pretend to be surprised in March, please and thank you. 😉

Well, my idea of pushing that stuff until March turned into pushing it until May or June… and then Barbara took her turn for the worse, and I dropped off of working again. I’ve been Making like a fiend the last couple of weeks, by the way, trying to get ready for the holidays, and GLAM. Which… I hope sales pick up for, because sales so far this year have been… not great. I mean, part of it I totally understand – being almost completely closed from January through April, being partially back to work in May and June, off work in July and August… people just haven’t been able to rely on me for regular shop updates this year. I’m hoping that a steady showing of my work in September, October, and now November will encourage people to take a look at what I’ve been doing. Part of me does wonder, though… have I been too open? Too honest and open about what I’ve been going through this year? I know people like to get to know the artist, but… am I letting people get to know me a little too much? Gah. Brain Weasels! Take a break, weasels!

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new

Oh, lastly, I used the Scary New Toaster to make dinner last night, and breakfast this morning, and I broke the rules by using tin foil in one meal (the instructions say not to use tin foil on any of the trays because it will make the toaster heat too fast and burn your house down) and by using parchment paper in the other meal (the instructions say not to use parchment paper on any of the trays because it will catch on fire and burn your house down). But I stood in front of the toaster both times, for the entire duration of cooking, ready to put out a fire… and thank goodness, I didn’t catch anything on fire. And then I unplugged it after using it, both times.

Definitely not much of a “Tim News” day. But the next week or so is pretty hopping, so maybe it was good to have a slow day. Even if I didn’t think so at the time.

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

In my life I love you more

Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney
In My Life