Things I am telling myself right now

Sometimes no news is good news, but no news is also frustrating as fuck.

Did someone put a curse on us? So that we’ll never be able to buy a house and move?

Change of address forms suck anyway. And I’d probably forget to change my address on Amazon, and all the random shit I order would show up for the new tenants of this house.

If there are new tenants; apparently selling a house right now is difficult.

There’s so much to be done with this house before we could sell it, anyway. What if in order to sell it we have to get central heat and AC put it? Do you know how bitter I’d be having to pay to get that shit installed after twenty years and not be able to use it?

I’d have to dig up my dog, Heidi, and my cats, Selkie and Buddha and Rembrandt. Fortunately we got Bridgett cremated because she was so big – Tim would have had to have dug a hole almost the size of a small car.

There’s probably not pizza delivery way out that dirt road.

Give up hope, this is never going to happen. Move on with your life and call a contractor about extending and screening in the back porch.

But don’t give up hope, because if you give up hope the universe might think you don’t want it enough, and it might not happen.

In a hard-to-grok twist of thought, one thing the lender doesn’t like about us is that we have enough cash for a down payment. It makes us look risky, because we may have borrowed it, we didn’t just… sprout twenties from our forehead like Zeus sprouting goddesses. Note to self: next time we try to buy a house, rob a goddamn bank first. Don’t look to family.

Another thing they don’t like is that we’ve had two credit checks in the last year — oh, I’m sorry, maybe because that’s because WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO BUY A HOUSE? AND ONE OF THOSE CREDIT CHECKS IS YOURS?

Packing 3000 books and 250 plaster molds will suck, because that shit’s heavy.

Can you tell I’m starting to lose hope? Yet, I also keep telling myself, it’s always darkest before the light. Still, at this point, it’s hard to be hopeful. It’s hard to be anything. Tim is more hopeful than I am; I feel like a hollowed out palm tree about to be used as a kayak.

I got nuthin’. I need pictures of kittens. Here’s when we first went to meet Moya and Serenity.

Future new kittens

5 Comments

  1. It’s ridiculous isn’t it? Listening to my husband on the phone with the bank last year when we had to push back our closing date for the fourth time was quite an epic experience. It’s also why I will never use a US bank, ever.

  2. Quinn Jones

    I’m sorry it’s being like this. It should be straightforward and easy, but it seems homebuying never is. I’m sorry, Sweetie.

    Would you get enough money if you sold your house As Is to a developer? Let them raise it and build a McMansion? Or does that only happen around here?

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