it just goes on and on my friends

Imma finish this bitch while on vacation, even though I can’t look at it without wanting to set it on fire. I started it in October of 2010 and I swear it’s cursed.

  1. The whole time I was working on it I was afraid it was too small. It turns out it’s way too big. I could fit in it twice. Perhaps three times.
  2. The color inspired two people to want to buy sweater quantities of this yarn, which turned into a stressful flaming wreckage of a situation.
  3. I started to dislike the colorway so much I considered discontinuing it even though it sells, just so I wouldn’t have to look at it any more.
  4. I ran out of yarn while making it and had to dye more.
  5. The dyed yarn didn’t match so I had to dye even more.
  6. I can see the parts of the sweater where I used the yarn that didn’t match; they stand out like a sore thumb to me.
  7. Did I mention it’s fucking huge? Like, not even “oh I love comfy sweaters” huge. Like, “did you make this for Andre the Giant” huge.
  8. I hate this sweater.
  9. I love this pattern. This is a pattern that I saw way back when I first started learning to knit, and fell in love with. It’s the pattern that inspired me to learn to knit cables. This was a brass-ring pattern. It kills me that I hate this sweater.
  10. I would make this again, however. Not in worsted weight yarn, although that’s what it calls for. I would do some math and make it out of DK, because this sweater also weighs about ten pounds (part of that may be cat hair). And I would SURE AS FUCK not make it in this color.
  11. I hate this color.
  12. Brown is my favorite color. It kills me that I hate this project. But I just can’t stop myself from the irritation. It’s been Bad News since the beginning.
  13. To be honest, I’ve considered ripping it out and selling the yarn. Some of my knitting friends would have a stroke. But some of my knitting friends would TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.

But I’m going to finish it. And then probably give it to someone much larger than me, whom I will hopefully never see wearing it.

Lorena Uncategorized

9 Replies

  1. You should absolutely feel free to ignore me, but I would rip that sweater out. If you hate it, and you seem to vehemently hate it, why spend time finishing it? Yes, the cables are beautiful, but how many hours’ work do you still have on it? I don’t want you to spend your vacation working on something that makes you mad.

    Ignore as necessary.

    1. Hahahahaha, Bonnie! My friend Sharon was just over picking something up, and I was telling her I was thinking of ripping it out, and she was all, “fucking go for it! You hate that sweater!”. The ends are woven in, all I have to do is the neck, so I have maybe… four? five hours? It’s a cabled neck, knit flat and seamed, and then more picked up and …. wait. Why am I even trying to justify doing this? In the back of my head I’m thinking maybe I’ll give it to someone, but I never want to see them wear it. I really should just rip this shit out. I am SO GLAD that people understand that!

  2. I think I get it, Lore. Maybe rewriting is easier. You don’t have to recycle all the words.

    (That would be a challenge. Rewrite this story, but use all the same words.)

    Unca Joe

  3. AND THE VERDICT —

    Before I killed it, I gave it one last chance for life. I offered it to my friend Marie, with the caveat that if she finishes it, I never want to see it. But that I also didn’t care if she ripped it out and made something for her granddaughters, or burned it, or what. See, at the yarn store, Marie was always in the right place at the right time — it seemed like whenever we got a customer come in with a half-finished project in a bag that the mother/sister/aunt/grandmother who had recently passed away had not finished, Marie seemed to always be in the store. And it always seemed like a project she could do, no matter if it was crochet or knitting. And she always took it on. And so many bereaved daughters/sisters/nieces were always so grateful to her. I figured that with that kind of good karma on her side, Marie was the only person in my circle to whom I could give that sweater and none of the bad energy would come with it because Marie just has Magic Good Energy.

    I told her she could say no; I told her I didn’t care what she did with it; I told her she could finish it, or not, but if she did finish it I didn’t want it back and I didn’t want to see it and didn’t care to hear what she did with it. And if that was all OK with her, she could have it.

    She took it.

    Marie is awesome.

    AND I AM MARKING THAT SHIT DONE, IN RAVELRY. DOOOOONNNNNNE!!!!!1!

  4. At some point, I had a lovely lavender silk tunisc cut out & ready to stitch together – that waited TEN YEARS to actually complete. By then it was *completely* out of fashion … So I can kinda relate, but without all the cursing juju, just procrastination. 😉

  5. PS : My favorite happenstance was finding your Dad’s short story the very day; and seemingly at the very same time of day ; that you and Mariana were talking about it.

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