QOTW - 2008/08/18
And the Question of the Week is…
Are you jealous of other people’s successes? People you actually know, that is; not just celebrities or people in the news.
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Sometimes I find myself getting envious of an old schoolmate - like the girl who was always drunk and giggly, who now has a book or two out. Or my old college roommate, who was (or still is maybe?) a free-lance editor.
And then I remember that they pursued their careers - unlike me, who sold out to The Man very early on. And then I get very happy for them and just kind of "meh" about my own job.
And then I remember that they pursued their careers - unlike me, who sold out to The Man very early on. And then I get very happy for them and just kind of "meh" about my own job.
Posted by betharoopie on August 18, 2008 at 09:17 AM | #
Only if they are succeeding where I would like to succeed. I always wonder why them and not me. Particularly if I've been working toward something and can't quite reach it.
I used to have a tendency to be more jealous of things people have that I want, rather than jealous of successes. I figure that if they are more successful then I am, either they're successful in a way I would never want to be successful in, or they have worked harder than I work. Either way it doesn't bother me much (about that).
As far as being jealous of what people have, though, I have let go of that as I got older. When I was young (like, middle school) I was always jealous of the "cool kids" and their up-to-date fashions, accessories, popularity. As I got more towards high school, I realized they were also shallow and vapid, and I wouldn't trade my intelligence for all the Jordache jeans in the world.
But then I found myself being jealous of people who (on the outside) appeared to have other things that I wanted. For instance, for the longest time I was jealous of someone who had a beautiful house with an amazing and perfect garden, was in a fabulous long-term relationship, and had a job they loved. But I came to realize that this person also had the most toxic personality of anyone that I'd ever met, and how could I be jealous of someone who belittled and spoke horribly of everyone they knew? This was years ago, and since then I don't think I've been jealous of anyone.
Oh, I still say things like, "Beth, your photos of Italy are so beautiful! I'm so jealous that you got to go!" but I don't mean, really, *jealous*, as in, "I wish I'd gone and not you". More, "jealous is the word which, socially, I think I'm supposed to use here".
Wow, I'm rambly this morning!
As far as being jealous of what people have, though, I have let go of that as I got older. When I was young (like, middle school) I was always jealous of the "cool kids" and their up-to-date fashions, accessories, popularity. As I got more towards high school, I realized they were also shallow and vapid, and I wouldn't trade my intelligence for all the Jordache jeans in the world.
But then I found myself being jealous of people who (on the outside) appeared to have other things that I wanted. For instance, for the longest time I was jealous of someone who had a beautiful house with an amazing and perfect garden, was in a fabulous long-term relationship, and had a job they loved. But I came to realize that this person also had the most toxic personality of anyone that I'd ever met, and how could I be jealous of someone who belittled and spoke horribly of everyone they knew? This was years ago, and since then I don't think I've been jealous of anyone.
Oh, I still say things like, "Beth, your photos of Italy are so beautiful! I'm so jealous that you got to go!" but I don't mean, really, *jealous*, as in, "I wish I'd gone and not you". More, "jealous is the word which, socially, I think I'm supposed to use here".
Wow, I'm rambly this morning!
I'm right with you there, Lorena - I was sooooo jealous of "the cool kids" and all of their snazzy clothes. I wore hand-me-downs that belonged in a different decade.
But what I *did* get was a group of close-knit friends through band and study groups, and we're still very close to this day. I wouldn't trade that for all of the jelly shoes and Panama Jacks in the world.
And I have to say - there are a lot of times when I look at pictures of me and my friends - whether they're decades-old friendships, or knitters who just met on my porch - and I think, "damn - it's really good to be me!"
But what I *did* get was a group of close-knit friends through band and study groups, and we're still very close to this day. I wouldn't trade that for all of the jelly shoes and Panama Jacks in the world.
And I have to say - there are a lot of times when I look at pictures of me and my friends - whether they're decades-old friendships, or knitters who just met on my porch - and I think, "damn - it's really good to be me!"
Posted by betharoopie on August 18, 2008 at 10:52 AM | #
I honestly don't think I'm jealous of other people's successes, but sometimes I am bewildered by them. Also by the failures of people whose talents and karma just don't line up with what they actually accomplish. Whoever deals out the luck just isn't paying close attention.
Unca Joe
Unca Joe
Posted by Joe Haldeman on August 18, 2008 at 12:12 PM | #
Nope. I get a little resentful if I know someone got something they didn't deserve, but mostly I'm just happy8 for them. Or wondering if it can benefit me in any way in the long run.
No, no need to be. It's more the other way around. Since I was at a high end of success in my career, others were often jealous of me. I can only feel sort of sorry for them. If they'd put that energy in to their own work instead, maybe they'd have been successful too. Also, when people I know are successful, I'm glad for them. Those of us who were/are successful feed on each other's successes and grow together.
Posted by alicesenior on August 18, 2008 at 04:34 PM | #
Absolutely not! I think it's a feather in my own cap to know all these successful people. Who knows; I might be successful myself one of these days. 
Mattski
Mattski
Posted by Mattski on August 22, 2008 at 10:10 PM | #
Thanks for the suggestion
<li>dantel, dantel örnekleri</li>
<li>dantel, dantel örnekleri</li>
Posted by arsony on August 24, 2008 at 03:56 AM | #
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