Monday, February 23, 2004
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in his name…
as long as you?re not gathered in a public place, expecting rights and legal recognition and all
Why is it okay to make marriage legal, but only for some? Hello, Orwell much?! ?All pigs are equal? but some are more equal than others.?
Why are people so up in arms about Gay Marriage (motto: Actually we?re just happy)? Because it?s?. ooo?. Different? New? We need to deny ?those people? rights? Well, 84 years ago ?those people? were women, and they wanted the right to vote. 50 years ago ?those people? were people of color who wanted to go to schools which until that time had been segregated. It wasn?t okay to withhold basic rights then, so why is it okay now? ?Those people? are our mothers, fathers, siblings, cousins, friends, and loved ones. So what is the big fucking deal? To paraphrase? If we prick them, do they not bleed? Ain?t they people?
Thus spoke Lorena on 02/23/04 at 02:03 PM in Bridezilla, Personal, Rants
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Sunday, February 01, 2004
It’s *my* uterus, goddamn it
Although sometimes I do feel like mailing it to the People In Charge, since they seem so hell-bent on controlling it
I read a post (Time to Get Mad, Girls) over at my friend Daisy?s site and it made me alternately angry and sad. What she wrote about how she wanted to give birth is extremely touching; and made all the more poignant considering that the other thing she writes about is Florida hospital policies changing soon to require all women who have previously had a cesarean to ONLY BE ALLOWED to have a cesarean in future births. Apparently, insurance companies are afraid of malpractice suits resulting from any problems arising from vaginal birth after a previous cesarean? So, let me try to get this straight? the vagina costs too much?! There’s just so much I could say here about how the world would be a better place if our vaginas were more valued in other arenas besides financial… but that would be another tangent entirely.
I?m trying to do some research on this, because it really pisses me off and I feel that I need to get some more facts before I start frothing at the mouth? but I just had to bitch for a minute. Thanks for listening!
Thus spoke Lorena on 02/01/04 at 05:49 PM in Bridezilla
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Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Chilluns; Part Three
Really an answer to some things raised in the comments of part two
I just found out there?s a 2500 character limits to responding in a post, so I?m going to make this an entry on it?s own rather than cut it down. HAH! I can do that; it?s my site.
First, I’d like to say that I see a lot of my friends who are parents and they have rich and rewarding lives. Some have given up things they used to do before they were parents, but none of them seem to mind in the long run. The payoff, for them, is so much more rich.
Second, some individual answers--
Thus spoke Lorena on 10/29/03 at 08:07 AM in Bridezilla
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Monday, October 27, 2003
Chilluns, Part Two
Do you have to choose between friends and children?
I have some friends who had kids by planning. I have some friends who have kids by surprise (not total surprise; I mean, they do know where the kids came from, hah ha?). I have some friends who are trying to have kids. I have some friends who are step-parents, or have adopted kids, or have taken in their nieces or nephews. I have some friends who don?t have kids, don?t want kids, but totally love and fawn over children when they see them. I have some friends who don’t have kids, don?t want kids, but totally adore the children of their friends or family members. And then I have some friends who actively dislike children and have made it well known in words and deeds that they don?t have a lot of room in their lives for people with kids.
(But wait! There’s more!)
Thus spoke Lorena on 10/27/03 at 11:28 AM in Bridezilla
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Friday, September 19, 2003
Chilluns; Part One
the first in a series of natterings
Some people (granted, not anyone who knows me well) have asked me when I?m going to have kids now that I?m married.
Uhm, okay. First; just because I am married does not mean I suddenly want to breed. Second; if I had wanted to breed already, at any point in my life, I would not let being or not being married have any bearing on my reproductive callings. Third; ?when? not ?if?? Is there a law I?m unaware of stating that I must have children now, so it?s a matter of ?when?? Fourth; I?ve been married before. I?ve had sex before (unless you?re my mother reading this, and in that case I?m still a virgin. Hah.) so I?ve had the opportunity to bear fruit. So far, the baby repellant has been working.
Thus spoke Lorena on 09/19/03 at 09:57 AM in Bridezilla
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Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Four more days
Four whole days. I bet Joe is glad that today’s my last day at work until next week. And I’m glad too, because I find myself getting really… well, lets just say, short of patience. More than usual, I mean.
For instance, if One More Person calls me and tries to get me to switch my long distance, I may in fact crawl through the phone and remove their reproductive organs. Through their nose. Okay, the second person who called me last night was actually my “fault”, since I’d called my cell phone service people to help decipher my bill. Then they tried to get me to switch my home service to them and he just would NOT take no for an answer. So I finally told him that I am less than a week away from getting married and changing my phone service is not only the last thing on my mind, it’s not even something I feel like making a rational decision on right now. He tried one more smarmy “Well blah blah blah” and I hung up on him. Grr. But by the time the THIRD person called me, I was wondering… exactly when does that National No-Call thingy come into effect?! Because this is bloody frustrating. When the third guy asked me if my phone had any “features”, I told him, “yes-- it slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries” and then I hung up on him. HAH. Take that. You are helpless before my snarky wit.
Before you leave, check this out-- The Sad 404-- thanks for the link, mom!
Thus spoke Lorena on 08/05/03 at 05:31 PM in Bridezilla
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Monday, August 04, 2003
Five more days
FIVE GOLDEN RIIIIIIIINGS!!!!
Oh, uh… that’s a different song. Sorry ‘bout that.
Jeez. Do I even have anything worth listening to today? Uhm… we went to Kelly and Robbie’s Friday night, for dinner (Dead Mobster; for the sea floor lover in you) (thank you, thank you, donations in the cup, please) and Babylon 5 (which always makes me miss Carol and Eric). Kelly really helped me out with the last bit of the crafty wedding stuff (place cards) and Tim did a great job as Official Note Cutter. I’m really feeling more relaxed about the wedding today than I have in months. But I knew that would happen (before you say “we told you so!"). That’s why I planned it the way I did-- if I could get 99% of it finished a week before the wedding, so that I could have a week to sit back, relax, enjoy, spend time with our friends and family (my cousin Jo is coming down! I haven’t seen her in YEARS!!!)… yeah. This week is off to a good start.
Of course I’m going to ruin that good start now, by going to work.
Thus spoke Lorena on 08/04/03 at 05:33 PM in Bridezilla, Personal, My random life
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Thursday, July 31, 2003
T-minus nine… and counting…
Announcing (hopefully, if I’m doing this right...) the new Snarkland Cafe Press Online Store! With a whopping TWO ITEMS! I know. Try to control yourselves.
They’ll be more later, like after lunch. Promise.
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/31/03 at 07:45 PM in Bridezilla
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Wednesday, July 30, 2003
T-minus ten, and counting…
Is it only Wedesday? It feels like it should be later. Like… Thursday, maybe. Of next week.
Wotta week. Why does it never rain, but it pours? We’re busy trying to finish painting and cleaning the house, for next week’s festivities. Also busy trying to tie up all the loose wedding strings. We’ve got friends who are moving, both this week and next, and we want to help them but are so tight on time for our own issues that we feel bad about not helping them but at the same time feel that helping them is not going to help get our house painted before next Wednesday and then feel bad about feeling so self-involved. We’ve got birthdays out the whazoo-- and it’s really hard when everyone is so busy, to make each birthday person feel special. So there’s guilt because of that. Then there’s worry about another friend of ours, whose husband is in the hospital and whose grandfather is in Hospice. She has a four-month old baby to care for, as well, so we worry about who is caring for her. And another friend whose aunt is very ill, and who lives very far away-- making it hard for our freind to go to her beloved aunt. Coupled with the usual stresses of laundry/bills/pets/house cleaning/work/yaddayadda… jeez. It’s a wonder sometimes that we don’t all just cower under our beds and not come out.
Speaking of which, I have to leave now to run to the grocery store and get some coffee for work. Isn’t that exciting?! Aren’t you thrilled?!
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/30/03 at 07:46 PM in Bridezilla
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Tuesday, July 29, 2003
11 days to go
11 days to go, and I?m thinking about last time vs. this time.
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/29/03 at 08:42 PM in Bridezilla, Personal, Navel Gazing
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Yahoooooooo!
The centerpieces are finished! I put the last photo up, and also a photo of a thank-you gift I made for the people at the restaurant where we’re having our rehearsal dinner. They don’t take reservations, but they’re really working with us to fit 40 or so people in their small place, and when somebody goes that extra mile for me, I like to say “thanks”.
So… the centerpieces are done. The clay pots are done. The Chex mix is done. The chocolate lollipops are done. What else is there to make? The table number cards (easy) and the place cards (somewhat easy… this will take some cutting and stapling that I’m sure Tim will be wonderful at doing). And then… then… nothing. Expectation. Baited breath. Waiting. Waiting for… waiting for the wedding. It only FEELS like waiting for Godot.
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/29/03 at 07:38 PM in Bridezilla
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Friday, July 25, 2003
15 days!
This weekend will see me and a few friends making a shitload of chocolate lollipops. And hopefully, if it doesn’t rain (HAH) it will see Tim finishing *at least* the trim on the house. I know he’s hoping to have the whole house painted… but will the weather cooperate?
Lots of updates in the wedding sections, of stuff that’s happened in the last week or so--check it out if you want; that topic seems to be squishing everything else out of my brain-pan these days. I swear I can’t wait till this thing is over and I get my life back, and can live “marriage” instead of “wedding”. [this space intentionally left blank ] I was going to write a sentence explaining that, but then I thought doing so would only reinforce the assumption that if the bride says something negative about the wedding process, people assume that she is either sorry she’s doing it, or wants to back out of it… neither of which is true in my case. It’s merely taken a lot of energy to plan this event and I’m looking forward to that energy being spent on other things (gardening… sex… making Christmas presents… hobbies… sex… being more social with my friends… you get the idea.) Hey, I should copy this over to the bridezilla section… except I did that yesterday and it’s really just a cop-out to not have to write more.
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/25/03 at 08:15 PM in Bridezilla, Personal, Navel Gazing
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Thursday, July 24, 2003
An impromptu Bachelorette party
16 days… and a regular gathering of the Girls Night Out crew turned it into an impromptu Bachelorette party for me last night. There was much laughter, many sparkly tiaras, a big poofy veil that Kelly made for me, and lotsa big candy rings. It. Was. Awesome. I love my friends so very much-- they are just the damn coolest. Does anyone else have friends like this, or is it just in Gainesville? I love how they can get down and dirty and pull each other out of the lowest of lows, being strong and fierce and lovely; and still let loose their inner princesses and be tacky and tiarad and silly and still just as lovely. Here’s one photo, because although I’m desperately trying too I don’t think I can get the rest of the photos up this morning--
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/24/03 at 08:15 PM in Bridezilla
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The Ceremony
::SPOILERS::
Okay… In theory, this is how the ceremony should go:
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/24/03 at 05:42 PM in Bridezilla
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Saturday, July 19, 2003
Hair and makekup runthrough
Talk about girly shit
We (me, Jenn, Kelly, and Laura) all went to Scissors this afternoon to have my hair and makeup run-through--
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/19/03 at 01:13 PM in Bridezilla
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Monday, July 14, 2003
The menu
Menu:
Food:
Sliced fresh fruit display
Imported and domestic cheese display
Grand salad bar
Roasted New York strip loin of beef
Pan fried cornbread catfish
Seasonal vegetable medley
Oven roasted red potatoes
Assortment of fresh rolls, breads, and butter
Freshly brewed regular and decaffeinated coffee and tea
Drinks:
Included
Water
Heineken
Danzante Pinot Grigio
Stone Cellars Merlot
Totts American Brut (for toasts)
At cash bar
Soft drinks ($2.00)
Mixed drinks, other wines, imported and domestic beers ($4-$6/each)
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/14/03 at 07:57 PM in Bridezilla
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Wednesday, July 02, 2003
RSVP rants
In the last three days I’ve recieved two RSVP cards from people who indicated they regretfully could not make it (but may send bells in place)… however; they neglected to write their names on the cards so we have no idea who they are. Well, okay-- the first one came postmarked from a state from which only one person had been invited. But the second one was postmarked from Gainesville… where we only sent out about 100 invitations. Joe helpfully points out that we’ll know who it is when they don’t show up. Thanks, Joe! That’ll really aid me in writing out that seating chart!
I wish, wish, wish that I had thought of writing a number down on each RSVP card and matching that number with the person invited-- that way, when one comes in sans name, I can still match the number. Why do I get these ideas after the fact?!
Thus spoke Lorena on 07/02/03 at 08:15 PM in Bridezilla
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Monday, June 30, 2003
More ramblings about divorce (2)
So, there?s an unspoken assumption sometimes that I must be divorced because either I am a screwed up person, or because I screwed up the marriage. (Part of this might be the unrecognized thought of ?there but for the grace of God go I?? Nobody likes to be reminded that but for the hand of fate they could be walking in the shoes of someone they think of as less fortunate.) But back to screwing it up-- I don?t really think *I* screwed up the last one all on my own, thank you very much. Just because it didn?t work out doesn?t mean I wasn?t trying. I will admit to giving up on trying, though. My side? He was an idiot chauvinist threatened by strong women and he had depression and ego issues to boot. (His side is probably that I was a loud mouthed tattooed feminist threatened by passive-aggressive anti-drinkers who never liked to do his laundry. Or he’d just tell you I was a frigid bitch.) How could I have made it work? By changing who I am? What would be the point? He would have been happier, but I wouldn?t have been. Thus, I became less and less interested in making it work. He didn?t seem interested in making it work almost from the beginning. And it does take two to tango. Am I glad I kept asking him for a divorce? Certainly. Do I feel I don?t deserve a second chance *because* I am divorced? Certainly not. I deserve another shot just the same as someone who was in a six-year relationship with someone without that piece of paper.
Thus spoke Lorena on 06/30/03 at 08:11 PM in Bridezilla
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Friday, June 27, 2003
More ramblings about divorce (1)
… continued from Wednesday...
So why do people who don?t really know you that well, not use the opportunity of your sudden ?I?m divorced? revelation to *get* to know you?
Thus spoke Lorena on 06/27/03 at 08:07 PM in Bridezilla
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Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Name changing, and nervousness
Name changing, and nervousness
… continued from Monday:
Wow. I reread everything I wrote, and I think I pretty much got it all out as far as how I feel about not being able to say anything negative about wedding planning—which is NOT to be confused with marrying Tim; of which I have nothing whatsoever in the least bit negative to say!
So… I’m going to move on to a different topic. Some of this is based on something I posted on Indiebride last week, so if you’re here from there and some of this looks familiar, that’s why.
Thus spoke Lorena on 06/25/03 at 08:03 PM in Bridezilla
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