Fits and starts

I feel like I’m working in hiccups these days; fits and starts.

Part of it is the weather. We’ve been getting hella rain this summer, and there’s at least an hour a day when our Internet doesn’t work because it’s satellite internet and can be hobbled by heavy southern cloud cover. And it’s not even, like, normal summer Florida rain that you can set your clock by, and trust that at 3:30 every afternoon it’s going to rain for an hour. Nooooooo. It’s random. Sometimes first thing in the morning. Sometimes just before or just after lunch. Sometimes at 4 in the afternoon. Sometimes all day, on and off. So I’ll be sitting there, working on social media or writing a blog post or going over my numbers and all of a sudden… no connection.

So what do I do then? Do I sit at the computer hitting refresh, so that I can keep in the mindset I was in and work on what I was working on? Or do I go out into the studio and work on something out there? What if I get started on something out there that’s going to take a couple of hours, and then the Internet comes back on after 20 minutes or so? What do I do then? Go back to my original computer work? Or stay working on what I’m now working on in the studio? I wouldn’t have been on the computer if I didn’t have work to do there… but now I’m probably doing something with clay that’s going to dry out if I don’t keep with it. POP QUIZ: WHAT DO YOU DO?

Part of it is that I keep having all these weird health things, and because of that, doctors appointments, and because of that, times I can’t work. Like, last Wednesday, I had an appointment at 2 in the afternoon with the ENT to find out the culture results from that tonsillary abscess from a couple of weeks ago. I started some things Monday, finished them on Tuesday, but then didn’t want to start anything new because I would have limited time in the studio on Wednesday and didn’t want to be working on anything I couldn’t just walk away from. Then Tuesday late afternoon, when it was too late to start anything big, the ENT called me. They’d scheduled me with the wrong doctor and needed to reschedule me with the right doctor, and that resulted in them changing my appointment from last week to this week.

So there were things I had planned on doing yesterday that I then didn’t want to start, because now I have to leave for an appointment in Gainesville smack dab at 1 in the afternoon today. I mean, the appointment is at 1. Which means I really have to leave at closer to 11:45, or even 11:30, because it’s at Shands, and it might take me a while to walk from the parking lot to the office of the ENT (on top of about a 45-60 minute drive to get there, depending on traffic and red lights). So what do I even work on today if I have to leave at 11:30 and won’t get home until 3:30 or 4? That’s a good chunk of my work day. I couldn’t start anything big (like making the August mugs) yesterday because I wouldn’t be able to work on them today, and I can’t start them today because I won’t have time, even though I’d have time to finish them tomorrow. Thursday I’m having company, and Friday a friend is coming out to help me replace the elements in my kiln. So what do I work on?

I almost feel like I need to tell life I’m going to take a vacation, but then secretly hole up in my studio for a week and not worry about online things and cancel all appointments.

Blarg, blarg, blarg. I think I’m just fussy this week. I mean, there are worse things to complain about than internet going out and being flush enough to take care of my health, right? So I should quit my bitchin’. Some people don’t have Internet. Some people can’t go to a doctor. So I should be grateful! …. Why doesn’t that make me feel better, though? At the same time, I feel I shouldn’t be complaining about being privileged and that I have every right to complain that I can’t get things done. Welcome to the dichotomy of me, right?!