If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten

Here is a pattern I fall into:

I will blog every day for, say, six months.

Then I will get really busy for a week, and I won’t blog because I will sacrifice blogging time for something else (sleeping late, more coffee, answering work email, trying to do fucking Pinterest for work, whatever).

Then I will have time to blog, but what do I say? “Hey, I’ve been busy!” Yeah, but doing what? Just… working. Being stressed out. That happens to everyone, nobody wants to read about it.

So I won’t blog for another week or so, thinking I don’t really have anything to say.

Then I’m out of the habit of blogging. And then I start to have things that I want to blog about, but they’re long stories (the kidney thing, the mammogram thing, the broken tooth thing) or they’re little things (new hobbies, how the feral cat population is, celebrating a friend’s birthday) and I don’t really know where to start.

Then I have too many things I want to blog about, and I don’t know which to start with. So I stare at the computer screen because when everything is important, nothing is important. Where to begin? Augh!

So then I don’t blog.

Pretty soon the things I want to blog about are louder in my head than anything else (I don’t mean, like, literally, I’m not crazy. … … … shifty eyes…….) and all I want to do is blog, but then I come here and write a sentence about fifteen different things I want to blog about, and then, well, haven’t I just then blogged about them all? If I can boil fifteen things down into a sentence each, do each of them really need an entire blog post?

So, this is me, stream of consciousness writing, telling you that I have a billion things to tell you and I’m not telling you any of them because I’m describing why I haven’t been telling you all these things. HAHAHAHAH I’m so weird.

But I wrote all this in about five minutes, just to show myself that I could sit down here and write a few hundred words about something – anything – in less than ten minutes, and if I could do that today, then certainly I can do that tomorrow as well, and if I’m going to continue to fall into the trap of blogging all the time followed by not blogging at all for a time, at least this will prime the pump and get me to the part of blogging all the time.

Did any of that even make sense?! I have this weird thing that when I do something, I want to do more of it. And if I do less of something, I want to do even less of it. So here’s me vomiting out five hundred words in five minutes, with the full intention of doing the same thing tomorrow but on a different topic. My bad, four hundred and ninety two words. Oh! Now it’s five hundred and seven. Yeah, me! Same Bat time tomorrow, same bat place?

4 comments

  1. damn, I clicked ‘see all comments’ and there were none… you scared em off..
    maybe we could get the voices’n’our heads together to play canasta…

  2. I had a relevant reply, but then I watched the cat lose a fight with…air…and now I can’t remember what I was going to say. But I am still typing!

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