Did I mention my broken toe?

Part of me feels like a huge baby; I’ve never broken anything before and there is an intense amount of constant pain coming from my little toe – I can’t believe such pain comes from something SO TINY. Part of me feels kind of butch, because I didn’t bother going to a doctor for it. I mean, I grew up on post-apocalypse fiction! I know what survivalists should do in case of broken bones! Also I am (a) cheap and (b) impatient and didn’t want to go spend six hours in an ER just to pay someone $2000 to say “yeah, that’s broken; we can’t really do anything for that. Tape it up and have some ibuprofen.” Fuck that. Gimmie a shot of whiskey and I’ll reset that bitch myself (actually it wasn’t that hard, I just pulled it back into place, which didn’t hurt any more than breaking it did, and then I taped it up. While I untape it to get in the shower, it has steadily remained taped (and I have remained stuffed full of ibuprofen) for about ten days now.

And the part of me that’s not screaming OW!OW!OW! says that it’s really not all that bad, especially when I look on the Interwebs for other pictures of broken toes. I mean, check it – I hardly even got a bruise. I feel like a baby for even complaining about it. And yet, after I broke it and had to put on shoes to go to the store to get tape, I thought I was going to fall over dead from pain. Sliding on those Birks hurt like a motherfucking hurty thing that motherfucking hurt a lot. I have a really high pain tolerance – frequently working through migraines because shit needs to get done and I need to do it – but sliding on that shoe brought me to tears. I don’t think I’ve ever, ever been in such pain. Maybe when stepping on that piece of driftwood on the beach that went so far into my foot… but I was 11 then and have mercifully blocked that out.

Speaking of migraines, I woke up with one this morning. I went to sleep hella early last night, like 10 PM; but woke up about 4:30 AM because my toe hurt, my neck hurt, and I was 100% conjested and couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to take – ibuprofen for my foot? Excedrin migraine for my neck? Benadryl for my nose? Surely I shouldn’t take all three, my liver might crawl out of my body. So I got up and was grouchy for a while, and decided on Benadryl and falling back asleep on the couch with my heating pad under my neck. Win! And then after Tim got up, around 8, I decided to go crawl back into bed because the throbbing had somewhat receded in my neck. And I slept until 11. I haven’t slept that long in AGES.

Also, it is like a sauna in here, and oy! My sciatica!

Oh, how did I break my toe? Remember how I was taking box after box of crap to Hospice Attic? Like, four car-loads of boxes of crap? I guess one box was all “you’re not gonna get me, Copper!” because it attacked me when I got up from my desk to let the dogs in the back yard. Fucker. Also, ow.

I have never broken a bone before! Please tell me your horrible broken bone stories so that I can feel better about my painful tiny piggy.

9 comments

  1. I broke my wrist once! I think I was twelve or so–can’t really remember, and I think I broke it at some family function. Anyway, my mom the nurse is, not surprisingly, the wait-and-see-type. if it shows the symptoms of needing to go to the doctor, you go. If it doesn’t, then don’t worry about it. Well it hurt. A lot. But my wrist didn’t really swell, not like it would if something were broken. So no doctor. For two weeks or so I bitched about it hurting and she finally took me to the doctor (probably to shut me up). He didn’t think it was broken either, but ordered an x-ray double check. And sure enough, i had a greenstick fracture in my wrist.

    I’m sorry to hear its still hurting so bad–you might actually want to go to the doctor to get stronger pain meds until it heals a bit more–or increase how much and how frequently you take the ibuprofen. Are you icing it as well? That may help with some of the pain. Okay, done playing internet helper type. *hugs*

    • Mostly the ibuprofen works fine, unless there’s something else going on with me (like a migraine) that the ibuprofen won’t touch, and I don’t want to double up on medications that might have an adverse effect.

  2. I’ve been fortunate in that I haven’t broken a bone… but my husband broke his pinky toe a few years ago. He accidentally kicked the door frame as he was going into the bathroom, essentially pushing his pinky toe into a near right angle to the rest of his toes. We went to the ER because of how far out of line it was, and they just pulled it over and taped it. 🙁 And it hurt, a lot, for a while. His toe is still a little angled out away from the others. Try and keep off it as much as you can, as well as icing and taking pain meds.

  3. Yah… stupidly picked a fight with an ATM after it failed to dispense my last $20 and broke two bones in my right hand (hairline fractures, but it still classifies as broken). Leave it to the Jarhead… Hurt like a you-know-what and continued to hurt for about a week, which, when you make a living as an illustrator, ain’t the best way to treat one’s hand.

    Best part, though, was when I went to Bank of America and filled out the paperwork for the refund. Took me a while because of the hand brace. The CSR asked me how I hurt my hand and I told her that I broke it on their ATM. She was very quiet after that – go figure.

    Mattski

  4. When I was five I was hanging out inside a family friend’s cat-scratching post pretending to be a chipmunk in a log, and it fell over–with me inside of it. Fractured wrist ensued.

    The box attacked you because it didn’t want to be torn from your presence and kicked out of the Haldefamily 😛

  5. My broken bone story is too, too ordinary, neighbor’s grandkids visiting for Xmas, me told not to go over unless invited, so I start doing cartwheels in wet grass to get attention and invite, ass over teacup, left arm looks very swan’s neck like. Spent Xmas in Alachua General. BUT fast forward A LOT to Brian crossing an empty lot in Saint Louis where he kicks the end of a broken metal pipe half hidden in the dirt, hops around grumbling all the way across the map to somewhere in Arizona where we go to a curandero (think medicine man) who tells him, “Your toe is broken, nothing to do for it, pay the girl one hundred dollars on your way out”
    and we go buy open toed sandals for the rest of the trip.
    Sorry you are in pain. Will send chocolate. Or merino roving. Yeah, that’s better.

  6. Ran up some marble stairs to take a Final Exam, caught my sandal on the lip of a step. Sat for the 2 hr test and then realized my big toe was purple and swollen. The Health Ctr nurse cut my shoe off and then it began to hurt. ER bandaged the toe just so it would be cushioned. That was 43 years ago and the toe still bends twice at one knuckle.

  7. Ouchies. I’ve broken a handful of toes — what an image — but just hairline cracks, nothing like your serious one.

    Icepack on the outside, cold martini on the inside.

    In college I broke my right forefinger in a lunge, fencing. That was a bitch. Painful and an academic disaster, trying to take notes with your main finger in a splint.

    I should learn to write with my left hand. Instead of my left brain.

    Sympathies

    Unca Joe

    (Leaving London tomorrow morning; Gay and Judith send their love. See you soon.)

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