Too long to twitter

Since this is way more than 140 characters, and probably more potty-mouth than Twitter would like:

To the “ladies” I saw on the news last night saying “you Floridians don’t know cold!”… Respectfully? Actually, not so respectfully at all? FUCK YOU. We DO know cold, and THAT IS WHY WE LIVE IN FLORIDA. Where it is usually NOT SO GODDAMN COLD. So take your high-and-mighty elitism and shove it up your cold snowy asses. And the next time you come down here in the summer and complain about the heat and the humidity I AM GOING TO PUNCH A BABY IN THE FACE. Probably your baby. And then I am going to set you on fire, and say “Oh, you Michigan people just DON’T KNOW HEAT.”

Wow, I seem a little grumpy this morning. Maybe that is because it’s been about 50-degrees INSIDE MY HOUSE for a WEEK, AND I AM INTIMATELY CONNECTED WITH COLD.

That is all.

6 comments

  1. Those ladies probably didn’t realize how cold it had actually gotten and were assuming we were freaking out over 65° or something–because when my friend in the Czech Republic found out it was -5 C when I woke up this morning, she was properly shocked & amazed. Any normal person would be. IT’s BELOW THE FREEZING TEMPERATURE OF WATER, LENTILBRAINS.

  2. The funny thing is…Yankees don’t know cold either. There have been days of OMGSNOW!!!! where this Georgia gal was the only one in her department to show up at work. They have closed schools at the threat of snow or freezing temperatures. And if one more bozo says, “huh-guess there’s no global warming, right?” then I will help with the baby-punching.

  3. I would say “amen,” but I recall being in Vancouver and having a waiter say something about how humid it was (it was gorgeous, btw) and maybe I might have said something like “Are you kidding me? You don’t know humid…”

    But I can’t be sure.

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