I’m still finding it hard to breathe, but Tim’s doing great!

Tim is either the picture of Zen calmness, or he’s putting on a good front for me. BUT THAT’S OK BECAUSE I’M FREAKING OUT ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US. Visions of storing my hardcover signed first editions at the shop, while Tim and I live on the street, sleeping on my yarn stash, and all. My god, we can’t even live on cat food – I’m allergic to chicken and fish! Hrm. Begging from the Krishnas it is, then.

Anyway.

I really, deeply, truly want to thank all of our friends and family who have sent us messages or called – everything, from “thinking of you” to “there’s a job open where I work” to “I brought you Mike’s Hard Lemonade and some Salt & Vinegar Chips” is making my leaden heart a little more buoyant. Thank you!

Funny story: yesterday, Tim was approached to do some consultant work… by the company that let him go on Tuesday. HAHAHAHAHAH! This shit just writes itself, folks.

The down side of that (if he took it) is that he wouldn’t get paid until after they get paid, which is after the work gets done for the client.

And how do I feel about that on his behalf (because it’s all about me and how I feel)? Well. Let me tell you a story. One time, I was dating this guy (he is a story by himself, I tell ya) and one night he broke up with me out of the blue. “Why are you breaking up with me?” I was so confused and hurt, certain that it must have been something I did, even though all I did (mom, skip the next two lines please) was have sex with him constantly and let him send my toilet paper back to his starving relatives in Poland. “I don’t know, it’s just not working,” he said. Er…? I KNOW, RIGHT?! OMGWTFBBQ! So like any confused 20-something, I cried for two days straight. What was wrong with me? Was I broken? Did I not give him enough? And for two days my wonderful friends kept telling me that it wasn’t me, it was him, the guy was an idiot who wouldn’t even speak in complete sentences when he even bothered to be social. I was all, “I know, but my god, he has such great hair!” <– I was young.

Anyway.

After about two days of working on me, I came around to my friends point of view. Dude was a loser. What the fuck? Who breaks up with someone in the middle of the night, just getting up and leaving? For no reason?! Screw him! Or rather, let some other girl screw him, and have her toilet paper disappear faster than she could buy it! And like that *snap* I was over him. Whatever. Greener pastures, fish in the sea, blah blah blah. And do you know what? Within about three days? He started calling me. He called me at home. He called me at work. He left flowers on my porch. He brought me unsolicited lunches. He would leave messages on my phone of love songs. “I’m sorry,” he would cry, “I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I was so wrong to break up with you!”. And my attitude? Damn fucking right you were. And I threw out the flowers, didn’t eat the food, and deleted the messages.

That’s how I feel for Tim, about this job. If you wanted him that badly, why the fuck did you let him go? Unless of course you are from that job, and reading this blog post, and in that case, HI! Tim is a great worker! And we love your company! … but seriously. Really? Really…? Gah. Give me a break.